Funny Quotes on Life That Teach You to Lighten Up

Funny Quotes on Life That Teach You to Lighten Up I find funny things happening around me all the time. Just the other day, my husband and my kids were tap dancing around the house. Usually, my husband is not predisposed to dancing, but here he was making tribal sounds and jerking his shoulders, as if he had been partially electrocuted. And no, this was not a new dancing style in vogue. This was simply his attempt to hunt a little spider. That little creature had suddenly decided to go bungee-jumping from the ceiling straight into my hubbys clothes. So why were the kids tap dancing too? Because they were excited, as they expected him to turn spidery and crawl up the walls, like their favorite superhero. Well, he almost made their wish come true.And if things couldnt get worse, I managed to get out of the tangled web of spiders to walk straight into a hive of angry bees at the park. Thats when I saw some neighborhood kids laughing their guts out. I wonder what could be so funny about an oversized woman running in the park with a purse above her head, and a host of buzzing bees angrily chasing her. It was probably the high heels that grabbed too much attention! Life Is FunnyLifes funny at times. You find many situations that make you smirk or smile. Perhaps you read a funny status message on Facebook or Twitter? Or perhaps a friend said something hilarious that kept you smiling through the day? Life is funny, when you look at the lighter side of things. Humor keeps stress at bay, and makes time pass smoothly, like a well-oiled machine.Humor can be a double-edged sword though. Statements laced with sarcasm can drive home a point. Want to tell your neighbor that his dog stinks? Poke harmless fun at your neighbor. Maybe he will get the message. But what if you tell your boss that you are overworked and underpaid? Try making a humorous remark that subtly drives the message home. You may actually end up with a fatter paycheck or some other perks. That is, if you dont get fired for speaking up.What If You Cant Spot the Funny Stuff?If you are blessed with a funny bone, you will see the funnier side of things. However, if you lack the ability to la ugh, you may need help. Read these funny quotes on life. These quotes inspire you to find humor in the mundane. Whether you are trying to understand humor or life, there is a lot to gain from funny quotes.Alyce P. Cornyn-SelbyA perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large.Jane Wagner, The Search for Intelligent Life in The UniverseAll my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.Woody AllenAll people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.Yogi BerraAlways go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours.Herbert SamuelAn autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.Mark Twain Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.Lao-TzuBorn to be wild - live to outgrow it.Robert GronockHe who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.Woody AllenI am not afraid of death, I just dont want to be there when it happens.Winston ChurchillI am prepared to meet my Ma ker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Woody AllenI do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.Whoopi GoldbergI dont like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good.Jim RohnI find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they do their lives.Oscar WildeI put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.Dean SmithIf you’re going to make every game a matter of life or death, you’re going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.Joey AdamsIn life, its not who you know thats important, its how your wife found out.Truman CapoteLife is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.Oscar WildeLife is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.Bertrand RussellLife is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rath er than the victim. Djuna BarnesLife is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.Bob MonkhousePersonally, I dont think theres intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?Fran LebowitzStand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.George CarlinThe day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.Robert HeinleinThe supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.Oscar WildeThere are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.Benjamin FranklinWere it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.Mark TwainWhen we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Stephen FryA cousin of mine who was a ca sualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors. Rather chilling.Neil SimonHe’s too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.Jim CarreyI think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that its not the answer.Henny YoungmanI told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.Stephen WrightI went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.Mae WestIs that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?Cathy GuisewiteMothers, food, love, and career: the four major guilt groups.Amelia EarhartNever interrupt someone doing what you said couldnt be done.Mark TwainNever put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Sholom AleichemNo matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.